About a month ago I went out like any other Friday night with one male friend. I dressed how I normally dress and barely drank. By the end of the night I had four phone numbers after talking to six or seven girls—about a 60% conversion rate, superstar numbers compared to my usual one number or make-out from four or five approaches. On Monday I had six numbers total (two older), too many choices to care which actually went out.

I called them one by one. Two answered; for the rest I left messages. A week later the pool was whittled to two girls I was still talking to, and after thinking a bit more I realized they weren’t even that cute, so I stopped calling both. Nothing happened with any of those girls. Two weeks after that, I met a pretty Brazilian girl at a bar, during a stretch when I barely went out to save money.

With the Brazilian girl we’re still talking and texting, even though my initial connection with her felt weaker, superficially, than most of the girls from the four-number fest. Looking back over the past couple of years, nothing happened when I had a boatload of new numbers. I get laid by focusing on one girl and making it work, not by blasting with a shotgun and hoping I hit something. That inefficient robot game burns time and energy.

Shotgun game may be necessary for some guys starting out, but in the long run you burn out and swear off the game forever. Having options is good up to a point, but too many options means you actually start getting less. You’re like a kid in a candy store, too excited to decide. You must care about these girls at least a little to push it forward—but if you care a tad too much, you’ll get nothing either. The game is an unforgiving beast.